Note To Myself: Harmony

"How longer this will keep going? I'm tired of it! You and your ideas... Oh, and of course, your family is indispensable too! Enough, I'm leaving!" Musa said, slamming the door and leaving the house.

"Is this the umpteenth time the door has been slammed? I think I'm having a bad dream... This must be a nightmare, this isn't how marriage should be, it can't be. Marriage isn't like this, it shouldn't be..." Sevda thought.

Was the problem with Sevda’s love? Was her choice wrong, or was the problem with Musa?

Marriage is a serious institution, isn't it? There are so many phrases, promises... "It is a serious pledge," they say. "Bachelorhood is a realm," or "You're old enough to stay at home..." A lot of words and talks. 

The components of such a valuable structure, the family structure, must be unique, isn't that so? The key point of marriage must be the harmony of family members. Family means harmony.

Family means people with common goals acting in the same direction, says the Experiential Design Teaching.

In a happy family, there is harmony. Harmony means the sustainability of existence. Whoever or whatever wants to sustain its existence adapts to it. In life, those who adapt survive, those who adapt win and benefit. The dynamics of harmony is what we adapt to, which is a choice, a right to choose. And every person inevitably experiences the consequences of their choice. So, to be a family, what am I choosing? Where am I adapting?

The secret to a happy family is: "In marriage, there is no 'I', only 'we"

How much do we say 'I' for the family? How much do we say 'we'?

"Do you remember how we used to eat at my father's house, how my mother used to do things..." Are we stuck in the past? Or do we think in the present, "What does my spouse want, what does he/she desire?" 

When a person gets married, their parents become their closest relatives. Their family is their spouse and, if they have any, their children. The word of happy people in their homes is 'we.' Saying 'we' means aligning directly with goodness, beauty, and benefit. 

Note to myself.

How much do I say 'I' in my beautiful marriage?

How much do I say 'we'?

And where am I aligning in the family...